Today I ask my heart what it wants for me to write.
I listen and hear that my heart wants for me to write what I want to write.
I ask: ‘Who am I?’
‘You are the doorway. A doorway to the higher aspects of the Self.’
‘Am I the doorway myself?’
‘Yes, because you can open and close yourself.’
‘I always want to be opened. Is that ok?’
‘Yes, that will give you peace. Peace especially holds good with regard to daily life.
It is always about balancing Spirit with your endeavors in the physical world.
About finding the equilibrium between the so called higher and the daily, until both are fused.’
My thoughts are floating towards the medicine wheel where we can see the spiral of life, an ongoing dance between all aspects of our being.
The spiritual of the heart in the North of the wheel manifesting on the earth in the South.
The emotions in the West being balanced by the wisdom of releasing in the East.
Life in a perpetual movement.
We can always find our stability by looking for the center, the cross between the horizontal and the vertical axis.
Yesterday I saw on television a report about the shutting down of Soestdijk, the royal palace.
They showed pictures of the royal family.
A feeling of nostalgia surged in me when I saw the young queen Juliana, the little princesses, prince Claus, prince Bernhard.
I did not idealize the past, because I also saw the problems, but I felt a kind of warmth that I could not find anymore.
My own past was connected to these images.
I found consolation when my attention returned to the now, simply to the room where I was.
In this manner I healed a part of my being split in time.
Those are the words that restore the connection to myself.
A candle is burning on a corner of my desk.
How terrible I feel when I cannot find an atmosphere of harmony in myself!
Maybe I asked too much of myself by wanting to write and to paint.
Or I expected too much of the result of my writing and painting.
I have landed with both feet on the earth and give precedence to peace, harmony and balance.