Shiloh had a project for painting “la Bella Mama”.
We would make an icon for ourselves that would give us a feeling of being nourished.
I was surprised that I portrayed a woman whose attention is turned inwards.
Yet the image gives me what I need most: inner peace, regardless the circumstances.
Shiloh, my painting teacher, always invites us to take many detours before we complete a work of art.
Like today: The instruction was to bring a colour on the canvas for each of the elements.
We started with the element earth.
Usually I assiociate earth with earth colours and I chose magenta, a deep red colour.
Suddenly I realize how extraordinary it is that we are alive on earth.
There are shadows here, light and dark, and we live here.
We are here, as living miracles, between the birds and the trees and the sun and the moon and the stars.
It makes me so happy…
What happens when we accept our problems and see the difficulties we experience in our lives as our greatest teachers?
I feel that these statements are true and I also know so well my reluctance to write about this, for fear that I would deny the suffering of people.
On the contrary.
By allowing the feeling of suffering in my life I needed to look for ways to return to balance and to search deeper than I did before.
Where does this lead to?
By ever again returning to simply being present, I can see the challenges as an encouragement to live more and more in the presence of a silent force that leads us.
This painting is far from finished.
This is the underlayer for a new painting.
Shiloh will take two years for the instructions for this work of art, but I can already taste the atmosphere of her presence…
Yesterday you asked: “How much longer will I stay here?”
My answer was: “Until you die”.
“I want to participate in life”, you said.
I heard your Spirit speaking.
Your Spirit is forever young and she cannot find her way in the home for elderly people where you live.
"The desire of your Spirit keeps you here on earth", I pondered, "close to me, even though your mental faculties are failing and the possibilities of your body are declining."
I hear your desire to live, regardless the challenges you are facing.
It is clear to me now that we are not limited to our bodies, we are free.
Who are we?
Sometimes daily life asks so much of my time and attention that the feeling of living in a whirlpool of events creeps up on me.
I then feel like a hamster running on her wheel and hear a plaintive voice deep inside that wants me to let go of the program and listen to what wants to be heard and seen instead.
Today is such a day that I have given in to this.
Right away I feel the space to write, to paint, to sing, to rest.
My creative being rejoices.
I cherish my true self in the silence of my being
Peace on earth
I wish each of you a sparkling New Year