On her way to the bridge she sits down on the vast roots of a giant tree
Angela is on her way to the bridge that will lead her to the land where she will know her destiny.
Before she feels able to cross the bridge she sits down on the vast roots of a giant tree.
Her whole body wants to be in touch with this immensity. It feels like she is making love with the earth, with the tree.
While she is greatly enjoying this love affair, a majestic Presence appears on her left side and asks her what she has come for.
Angela answers that she would like to cross the bridge and find her destiny, and that at this moment she is just feeling the lusciousness of her body while touching the roots of a tree and the earth…
The Presence doesn’t seem to be convinced that this is the answer she is looking for and asks again: “What have you come for?”
Angela answers that she is used to taking life as it comes and that she trusts the flow and that she doesn’t know what she has come for, except that she would like to find her destiny.
The Presence tells her that, in order to cross the bridge, Angela needs to be clear about what she plans to create with her life.
Angela hears a bell ringing. All of a sudden she remembers a vision she has had in which she was shown what her life is to be about.
She remembers having seen that her life is to be about being bold and about creating an ocean of beauty for many people. To go for it and to live according to her deepest instincts. To remember that freedom lies in being courageous. And that she needs to be peaceful deeply inside, whatever happens, while also restoring the wellbeing of the inner child.
Angela has lived under the oppression of a mother who was overwhelmed by life and who was also passive and often depressed, and Angela has forgotten that she may take action.
“So you want to be a teacher?", the Presence asks. “Tell me what you will teach.”
Angela answers that she wants to help other women to thrive, so they may live their abundance and find prosperity in life.
She knows that in order to do that she needs to allow herself to be thriving and successful.
In her family these qualities were separated from the deep roots of the feminine and she needs to rejoin these inside herself first.
The Presence nods with a smile and continues: “What suffering do you plan to relieve in the world?”
Now all parts of Angela come together: “I want to relieve the suffering of children who feel abandoned, suppressed, forgotten, hungry, and who are living in war zones. I want to restore their wellbeing”.
Now the majestic Presence really takes an interest in Angela.
She asks: “What tools have you brought with you and what will you need?”
Angela answers that she feels a great zest for life and that maybe this will not be enough to reach her goal and that maybe she needs to be more specific about what she will need.
She feels that it is not only about being courageous. She will truly need to cross a barrier inside herself in order to overcome her passivity.
Angela asks the Presence to be patient with her and makes a promise that she will strive to move through this.
She asks the Presence: “I know how to feel and to hear and to know, but it is difficult for me to view what the other side of the veil wants to show me. Will you help me to see?”
The Presence answers that this will take time. "You may cross the bridge now."
Angela doesn’t want to leave and tells the Presence how much she loves the rainbow shawl she is wearing. The Presence softly folds one around her shoulders and Angela feels the protection.
She asks what the Presence would like to receive. It is about humbleness.
Angela gives her a bowl filled with humbleness.
The Presence receives.
Joos, April 27, 2014
Clara
Clara was an easy child.
She adapted herself to circumstances, radiating harmony.
When she was in puberty she did not feel any protest to her parents.
Probably she could not find the space to do that.
Her mother would not have been able to manage and her father was reading the newspaper, or just left them for long periods.
Her mother liked to receive support from Clara and from her older sister.
There seemed to be no other way but to do that, even though Clara closed down and withdrew into herself more and more.
Her mother praised her when she could count on her, but she hated Clara when she followed her own path in life.
When her mother was angry she would not talk for quite a while.
Clara was frightened of those moods and thought that her mother’s frozenness was caused by her.
Actually Clara grew up in a home where everybody had to walk on their toes, in order to not disturb the mood of the mother.
After Clara left home she found more joy in life.
Any situation that reminds her of the frozen states and lack of life of her mother still touches a wall of fear in Clara.
Now that she is an adult she has learned to deal with these situations.
She has learned that the frozen silence usually has nothing to do with her.
Clara is an old woman now and she has found many ways to help people find their authentic life.
Actually she thrives when she can be of help to someone.
Yet there are situations that still touch this old fear.
When Clara sees that she can bring in all the life she has available and there is not the response of life in the other person, she finds a way to withdraw in an authentic manner, without causing harm.
She knows that she has to wait and see, just like Spirit has done with us.
Spirit waits until he/she feels our yearning to reunite.
We need to reach out first and then we can feel the kiss of life that is embracing us.
Joos, August 23, 2013
Leila
Let me tell you about Leila.
Leila was a beautiful girl before she married.
She was popular with the boys and liked to make fun with them.
After marriage she gets more serious, more responsible.
Sometimes she feels like a drudge, because she has a tendency to forget about herself.
This gets worse when her husband falls ill.
She grows tired of her role of caretaking and often feels lonely and separated from others.
Leila is reading a book: “Awakening Shakti, The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga” by Sally Kempton.
She especially likes the story of the Goddess Parvati and her partner Shiva.
Shiva is continuously in deep meditation in a grove in the Himalayas.
He is completely detached from society and from desires.
Parvati was a young maiden at first.
When she grows older she misses Shiva, her consort.
She understands that, in order to relate to him, she needs to grow his qualities of stillness, steadfastness and devotion inside herself.
So, every day she sits in a grove at the foot of the mountain on a soft patch of moss and she radiates her feminine beauty and gracefulness in the direction of Shiva, in order to attract his attention.
One day Shiva’s awareness senses Parvati’s shine and he feels the stirring of his desire.
Shiva is angry.
Parvati begins to cry: “Would you have Desire leave the world? Without Desire no creature would mate and generations would die out.”
Shiva goes back into meditation.
Parvati understands that she needs to grow the beloved inside herself in order to be the beloved of the Beloved.
Her commitment is very strong.
After standing on one leg in a frigid stream for many months, the fire of her yoga begins to penetrate Shiva’s world.
He senses Parvati’s unwavering devotion and recognizes that there is something about relationship that meditation cannot beat.
Finally they consummate their marriage in pure bliss.
Leila is impressed by this story and on a cold, snowy day in winter, in one of her desperate moods, she decides to pray to the Goddess: “Parvati, please transform my aloneness. I have a beast inside who robs me of my energy.
I feel worn down and left alone, like a spinster in the woods who is traveling all by herself.
Please give me some perspective, a light at the end of the tunnel.
This loneliness is too much for me.
I get weaker and weaker and feel like an easy prey for the animals of my mind.
Goddess of feminine beauty, please restore my strength to me, because I am being devoured.
Help me to transcend this.”
The Goddess answers: “Let me know what is your deepest desire.”
Leila knows right away that she dearly desires to feel connected.
Connected to herself, connected to others.
The Goddess answers: “And Leila, please tell me what is the deepest desire of your heart?”
“The deepest wish of my heart is to be who I am and not be torn down by circumstances.”
“What is it that you need to give away in order to accomplish this?”
“I need to give away being sidetracked by what others do or say.”
After this Leila forgets about her prayer and opens the computer to visit her favorite pages on the internet.
One message draws her attention.
It says: “Bless the circumstances of your life”.
Leila feels the significance of the statement.
Her mood elevates instantaneously and her love for What Is expands.
She knows that she has received Parvati’s answer to her prayer.
Joos, March 13, 2013
Annie
Maybe you don’t know this, but Annie used to be a precious little girl.
She liked to hide at home, in a dark place in the attic, where nobody could find her.
The place smelled a bit humid, especially in the summer months, like old moist wood.
Annie had bright fantasies and if you would have been able to hear her stories you would find out about her deep inner secrets.
She would take her dolls along.
There was a black one with shiny, long braids.
And a doll who was dressed like a nurse.
And one with a porcelain head. Her nose was broken.
And of course her soft, worn, old bear was with her all the time.
One day mother said that Annie couldn’t go to the attic anymore.
A carpenter came and he closed the entrance to her hiding place.
After this incident Annie dreamed every night about being chased by monsters and swallowed by dragons.
She didn’t want to eat and felt miserable.
One night she was screaming.
After several months her parents were desperate.
They didn’t know what to do with her and sent her to boarding school.
Annie felt lost. Her grief overwhelmed her.
She became a nasty little girl who did not want to participate in anything.
In her despair, she prayed every night to God: “Please help me, I don’t know what to do”.
Annie cried herself to sleep for several weeks.
One night she saw a soft light and felt a gentle nurturing presence shimmering near her bed.
The being asked her: “What do you need?”
Annie had no idea.
She only knew what she didn’t want: She didn’t want to go to boarding school, she didn’t want to be away from home, she didn’t want to lose her hiding place in the attic, she didn’t want to be where she was.
For seven nights the soft, nurturing being came to her bedside and repeated the same question: “What do you need?”
After six nights of feeling hopeless in response to the question, Annie woke up in the darkness and knew what she needed: “I want to be held, I want to feel you close to me, please hold me in your arms.”
The being answered: “Every night I am here for you to be close to you and hold you in my arms, but you cannot feel me if you are fighting so much.
Maybe if you stop fighting you can feel my warmth, my touch, my embrace".
All of a sudden Annie found her way back to the fantasies she had enjoyed for such a long time when she had been hiding in the attic.
The being said: “I was with you then, I am with you now, I shall be with you always”.
Annie cuddled herself, holding her old, worn, soft bear.
She felt cradled by the gentle, nurturing presence and had sweet dreams about fairies and queens.
Joos, February 15, 2013