Joos's journal

22-10-2015

Fear of decline

Facing the pain of the terror of decline and death of my loved one, in which I have been living in for so long, leads me to the gate of surrender to “Thy Will be done”, where I touch deeper ground.
I vaguely sense that this is the wisdom I will need in order to live the life of old age in a gentle and joyous way.

 

29-09-2015

Message from a bee

Today, after I had taken a swim, a bee was flying nervously in my bathroom.
She couldn’t find the open window, because she was flying too high.
Since I have just painted a bee on my latest painting, this meant more for me than just the event of a bee flying in my bathroom.
I said to the bee: “Fly lower, so you will find the opening".
If this was a message for me, I know that it meant: go deeper, not higher.
Yes, I will do that.

 

27-09-2015

Moonbath

Moonbath

Early this morning I took a “moonbath” in the light of the full shining moon.
By reflecting the light of the sun, the moon shows us the amazing power of the sun, who gives life and light and warmth to all matter that is in her orbit.
I asked if I may receive the harvest of the seeds that I have sewn.
She answered: Acknowledge what you have done and feel what was your contribution.
I recognized what she meant and now I know a bit more about who I am.
That is my harvest.

 

19-09-2015

Painting

It will take me a whole year to make this painting of the Cosmic Mother.
Thirteen  moons.
Shiloh inspires us by painting every moon from a different type of energy.
The last one was Sacred Path.
My painting is totally different from Shiloh’s demonstration and it surprises me to see what appears on the canvas.
All of a sudden I painted a bee on her face.
I looked up the spiritual meaning of the bee and learned that she knows exactly where to find the nectar.
So the bee stands for discerniing consciousness.
The Cosmic Mother is an important theme.
She is everywhere around us and we only need to allow her.
The nectar, the life force, then streams towards us.

 

08-08-2015

Conversation

Towards the end of the painting process it is a good custom to have a conversation with the image.
Since her name is "She who holds the space", I asked her if she gets tired from holding the space.
She answered:
"I enjoy my body and the lusciousness of my dress while I hold the space for everyone who wants it.
So I do this in a playful way, free from burden."
She especially wished me playfulness.
After that, I continued to paint.
I made her face more cheerful and added more motion and color to her hair.
The nice thing about this way of painting is that it gives us an opportunity to have unexpected encounters with deep parts of ourselves.

 

26-07-2015

The inner wise one

As she continued speaking, she said:

You may release old stories
and move on.
Move on to the unfamiliar,
listen to the unspoken dream
of your soul.
Open to the unknown
instead of repeating stale thoughts
of what could have been
if he were still here
at your side.
He is not here anymore
and that's a fact.
You are perfectly capable
of living your life
without him.
Do not weaken yourself.
Open to this new moment of life,
not to death.
To wisdom,
instead of mourning the decline.
Be brave, my soul,
you are worth a million stars
in the sky.
Don't weaken yourself.
Find your courage
to move on.

15-06-2015

She who holds the space

Making this painting was quite a chaotic process.
I experienced a lot of contradictions in myself, which made me uncertain.
The finite and the infinite, and the connection between these poles, was the main theme.
After painting the sign on the left side I felt more at ease.
I know now how important it is to return to the simplicity of just being and trusting in a higher power that leads us.
The name of the painting is She who holds the space.

 

08-04-2015

The invisible Force

Our higher intuitions don't always come through language.
Sometimes they arrive through feelings of turmoil.
Sometimes we even hear them through the anger of someone else.
Sometimes we discover that a change is needed because we ourselves are angry.
We know that the connection to who are has been restored when our mind is quiet again and the storms have passed.
When we are at peace with daily affairs again and have confidence in our decisions for the future.
When we can be open for what is happening now.
Apparently there is a Force that not only invites us towards more life, but also to be a better version of who we are.
This is a fascinating proces. 

 

01-04-2015

Freedom

 

Teaching painting

I made this painting when I taught the 13 step method to an experienced painter.
I was insecure when I started teaching.
Unsure about whether I would be too spiritual for her and whether I was capable of teaching the painting method.
The name of the course was: “Embracing the Sacred Feminine”.
To help me to overcome my feelings of insecurity I chose as an intention for the painting: “the Freedom to be me”.
I started painting the background rather wildly, with primary colors.
Apparently I associated freedom with wildness.
In the end the painting process showed me that I just may be my quiet self.
That is enough for teaching.
My student was totally surprised by the painting that appeared on her canvas.
A magical process unfolds when we embrace the Sacred Feminine.

 

19-02-2015

The inner voice

On my desk is a note with the words:
Self care is Self expression.
I discover deeply how true these words are and how inspiring and inviting!
Only when I can feel the connection with myself can I reach out to others.
Self care is tenderly encountering the subtle energy inside myself and treating her like a dear friend who would like to be heard.
Listening to this voice, as much as I can.