nl | en | es

Joos's journal



In my deepest being, I feel a desire to be intimate with someone.
It's a great power that manifests itself in negative thoughts when I don't listen to her.
She is different from mourning the death of my dear husband.
It is a desire to be close to you, to enjoy your company, to travel through life together.
Should I dismiss this desire as dependence, attachment?
No, I have the feeling that the fulfillment of this desire is the most beautiful occurrence that could happen to me.
I cherish this great power...



Wholeness Complete

Because there is no paper version of my book Wholeness Complete in Spanish, I bought it through
Every day I follow an idea. Because, even though I wrote the book myself, the lessons are forever.
The Spanish language opens up my romantic side. I enjoy the Spanish text and the words penetrate even deeper into me.
I am now at idea 5: I live in a world of duality. Each pole has its opposite. I am both one pole and the other.
Yes, we are whole…



Out of this situation only good will come

While reading the book 'Life loves you' by Louise Hay and Robert Bolden, I am aware how many times I unconsciously have had negative thoughts and fears about the slow recovery after my hip surgery.
That's why I decide to change my 'mantra' into a positive thought: Out of this situation only good will come.
I let this text penetrate deep into me.
So that’s having trust.
The new point of view makes me happy.



Water guardian

Finally I made a big painting again.
I had decorated her headdress with metallic gold paper but could not continue painting until I had bought gold leaf to adorn her. She truly wanted gold. Very special.
Her message was: Have trust. You are in good hands.

Last night I contemplated these words before I fell asleep.



Song to the Mother Spirit


Finally I feel inspired to paint again.
And also to write.
The image is a watercolor, following an illustration by Carol Grigg from my book 'Wholeness'. She called her painting 'Song to the Mother Spirit'.
Maybe we need the 'Mother Spirit' very much on earth.
I wish all my readers a happy end of the year and more joy and freedom for 2022.



Peace and surrender

Yesterday a loyal visitor of my website came to visit to buy a painting.
He asked me, "Why don't you write? You last wrote in the diary in September."
I replied that there is not much to write, because I still have pain in my back after my hip surgery, so I take it easy.
His response was, "We'd like to know how you're doing."
Apparently, physical discomfort is also news to write about.
Even though I can't stand long enough to paint and I prefer to sit on the couch.

My spirit still feels young and is always inspired to learn something new.
So yes, peace and surrender are here.
And that feels like a great asset in this world that seems to be spinning faster and faster.



When I am in Spain

When I am in Spain often an emotional event happens that unbalances me.
It is as if the forces there are greater than when I am in the Netherlands.
My reaction then is to start worrying about things that I can't do much about and therefore my thinking starts working overtime.
This will be the case until I remember the last sentence from my book Wholeness Complete. 
It says: What is your deepest wish?
The answer to this inquiry helps me to remember how I want to be.
By making an intention out of this, the focus and balance come back into my life and I stand stronger in my own shoes then.



New owner

Today I brought this painting to her new owner.
She has been given a beautiful place, where she comes into her own.
The gold of the painting reflects the sunlight.
I am very happy when someone appreciates my work.



Fanning the fire

I am aware that the hip surgery was burdensome for my nervous system.
It felt like my life was stagnating a bit and I had lost my pleasure in painting.
Yet I am ready to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix. My creative self may live again.
Tomorrow I will start painting and thus participate in life with more joy.
So I will not only do exercises to strengthen my leg muscles, but also spend time expressing my creative self.
I am curious.



Turning point

After my hip operation I spent a lot of time on the couch and I enjoyed it.
Yet I know that it is time to find my way out of this by practicing walking and strengthening my legs.
I also know that my deeper Self asks me to find a way to start writing and painting again.
Evidently ‘just being’ is not enough anymore. New life is still waiting for me.
Maybe all I need to do is to start.
The road will show herself then.
In my book ‘Wholeness Complete’ I write: May my search for Light be life enhancing.
Apparently I meant something else than just quietly enjoying old age.
I am curious.