Joos's journal

20-11-2009

Sense of meaning

These past days and weeks something deep was asking for my attention; I had the vague feeling that there was an intent that wanted to reveal itself.
To say this in another way: I was searching for a way to improve the sense of meaning in my life and kept going round in circles to find a form that would feel right.
Yesterday I finally knew which question would best express this sensation. 
I posed the question before I fell asleep and asked: ‘What wants to express itself from the deeper layers of Being?’
This morning I heard the answer: ‘I want to help people to move from the darkness to the light.’
I can fully consent with this.
After ending my psychotherapy practise in 2003, the need to be active in a meaningful manner remained, although I knew the form would be different.
I am grateful for the answer.

23-10-2009

Alone

I am alone for a few weeks and enjoy listening to what my inner self has to say.
The importance of attending to and returning to the silence in myself is a theme that shows itself in all kinds of manners.
Also the necessity of having my attention in my centre, in the middle of my body, is presented to me in a very convincing way. I then remain in my power centre. More than ever I am aware that I weaken myself when I leave this place.
All signs point in this direction.
Exploring the spiritual dimension truly is a never-ending source of inspiration.

05-10-2009

Between two worlds

I have the feeling of living between two worlds.
On the one hand there is a strong urge to direct my attention inwards, and to find time and space to be alone.
On the other hand the Spanish sun draws me outward, and inspires me to enjoy what’s there.
Yesterday the full moon was magnificent, and seemed so very near. A large band of light reflected on the water. After sunrise the big reddish yellow sphere was still visible. Then she sank in the ocean.

29-09-2009

Lively and silent

Last week I celebrated my birthday. We had a big party, because it was a jubilee year.
Usually I return to my relatively quiet existence after such an event, but this time we travelled with American guests and I remained in the hustle and bustle of being the host and the organizer for one more week.
Because I have learned to be without resistance I managed to rest and to improvise, in spite of the commotion.
Now I am in my house in Spain again.
The ocean is like a peaceful mirror. The soft atmosphere of the Now brings me into a wide open space of possibilities.

05-09-2009

Cleaning

Treasure, ©Joos

I feel that I am living in a time of preparation for what’s to come: I am tidying, throwing away what I don’t need, making space, trusting that what needs to happen will happen.

The new space fills up with silence and time and again I search for ways to be fully present in the Now. Sometimes, with great intensity, old patterns of responding present themselves, and I manage to integrate them into who I am Now.

14-08-2009

Rainbow

At times I feel like a rainbow: on the one hand wide, grand, calm, while at the same time within myself full of contradictions. They are a type of resistance towards what life has to offer, an internal fight of my small will against what’s happening. A kind of - oh no, not this- and a- yes, I want that-.
Lately I notice my neurosis in full splendor, the rain and the sun at the same time, in a marvelous bow of colors.
I let all of them exist.
Yesterday the restlessness was stronger than the wide, grand and calm. Fortunately, in an article, the word ‘mindfulness’ caught my eye. That word, by itself, showed me the way out of the agitation.
I only need to accept Life to find peace again.
My life then becomes a dance which shows all colors of the rainbow.

09-08-2009

Balancing masculine and feminine energy

I notice that it is important to organize my life in a way where the masculine energy of my heart can take form next to the free flowing feminine energy.
The wish to structure time and space for myself occupied my mind until the moment I gave in to this desire by creating a structure for this yearning in reality.
By doing this the right side of my body starts to flow again and I notice that my spirit consents with the new structure in the planning of my life.
It is a small but at the same time very important change in my life.

27-07-2009

Gratitude

I am translating my book Playing with the Life Force with two Canadian women.
It is not just the translating, they also help me to find words for the integration between the Tzolkin sun glyphs en the Jin Shin Jyutsu® energy points.
One of the women is half Indian and, although we have never met, I feel connected and supported during the organizing process of the book.
This afternoon I would start with the final part of the book when I found out that they sent me another text. So my work was interrupted and I felt slightly frustrated.
What to do?
I make a cup of tea and open the last edition of the magazine …from heart to heart…
Theme of the journal: Gratitude.
It is splendid to find out how a frustration can change suddenly by focussing in a different manner.
I sit outside, the summer rain taps on the sun shade, a cup of tea, the smell of damp flowers.
What difference does it make, why make a fuss?
I enjoy this moment of quiet and realize once more that life is about the Road and not about the goal.

18-07-2009

Balancing masculine and feminine energies

Sometimes it is difficult to share what’s happening.
This is especially the case when, like these days, I have the feeling that my body is in the washing machine, and going through all types of emotions.
Now that the worst is over I can write again.
On July 7 there was a lunar eclipse and it is said that this activated a lot of masculine power in each of us. So all types of themes that have to do with the clearing of the unbalance of this energy have surged.
On July 22 there will be a solar eclipse. This will be a portal for feminine energy, which, I hope, will bring harmony and balance.
I am looking forward to this.

27-06-2009

Transition

I notice that we are living in a time of transition.
Old securities loose their appeal, new needs ask to be specified and expressed and at the same time I do not know what I want.
That is to say, remotely I do know, but what I would like is so different from the habitual that I sparsely dare to take my stand.
It feels like being the helmsman of a ship in a rough sea while at the same time not much is happening.
Life seems to be a paradox.
The old dies away and the new perspective is not clear yet.

 

Sunday the 21st of June will be the day of the solstice.
From that day on we will be able to experience, more than we ever could, a shift in consciousness.
The old has gone.
A new dawn has arrived.