When we have the feeling that our life is stagnating, we are at a zero point.
The way forward is sometimes to be silent and to ask ourselves carefully what we do like.
For me, part of the solution sometimes lies in following a new painting course.
The woman in this painting looks back at what was and doesn't know yet in which direction she wants to move forward.
The great unknown is in front of her.
The other day I wondered why I could paint such a powerful, independent woman and yet not quite feel, embody, her firmness in myself.
This morning it became clear to me that I had not listened enough to my intuition in everyday life. That’s when I started to feel a little peevish, without knowing the reason for it.
When I opened up to my inner voice, it became clear that I had to cancel a few fixed appointments.
As soon as I did, my energy and peace returned.
The woman in the painting aligns herself, opens herself, to the light, to the information that comes to her, with her whole being.
Apparently, that's what I'm being asked to do.
A big spider was sitting on the wall this morning
What to do but ask for help from someone to remove him like I always did?
There was no one around but me.
I had to find my own solution.
With a kitchen towel I embraced the spider softly, gently,
bringing trust so that he would let himself be surrounded by my touching hands.
Sunlight was shining through the door I just opened.
When we were outside my hands let go.
The spider fell from of the towel towards his freedom.
All of a sudden I felt how gently my husband used to do this
and missed him dearly.
At that moment I felt that his gentleness for nature was abiding with me.
Sometimes the painting process requires a real transformation.
This "Earth angel" appeared during a "Mother Earth" course with Michal Shimoni.
Initially she was very stressed, with dark lines in her face.
When I made her more ethereal, her expression disappeared, and I still wasn't happy with her.
Michal advised me via the Internet to bring more contrast.
Eventually, intuitively, I felt that the holy erotic wanted to participate and I used orange to cheer her up.
She is now peaceful and joyous at the same time.
I made this painting during a course with Michal Shimoni.
Tree Spirits was the theme and during the painting process I felt the tranquility I also feel in trees.
I asked: ‘What is your message?’
Keep the outside world out.
We are your friends.
‘How can I find my rhythm of life now that everything is stagnating and meetings are canceled?’
Let your own life reverberate.
‘Will you help me to do that?’
Sure, as long as you listen to your inner urgings.
Now that many activities are canceled it feels good to be at home, needing quiet time, reconsidering what I find important.
Deep listening, painting, feeling...
It is truly the Art of Allowing through discovering what wants to happen and what brings me joy.
The task at hand seems to be to find out how we can be aligned with ourselves in a deeper way.
There is a Power that leads us by letting us know what warms us, feeds us, brings us joy.
This Power is always here, even though we often don't listen to it.
It feels like a deep wish, a deep desire, a longing that is not always fulfilled immediately.
It is a signpost on our way to a fuller life.
In my book Wholeness complete I write, May my search for Light be life-enhancing.
This still rings true. It's an inner compass.
I want to listen to this depth, over and over.
It is the voice of my soul, my authenticity.
Since the death of my dear husband, I move through a period of transition.
I feel that a deeper layer of myself wants to present herself.
My thinking mind cannot make sense of this, and that’s why I have planned to write a poem every day, so that irrational thoughts get a chance to guide me in setting the course that’s indicated by my deeper self.
I'm glad I can write again.
Sometimes the masculine appears in my paintings, even though I intend to paint the feminine.
Two years ago I started this painting, and when I saw the image I didn't like it at first, but I could not do much about it.
In the meantime, my life has changed. My dear husband died.
The painting offers me comfort, because I see that he is in safe hands.
I also realize the importance of the masculine power that is part of me: The capacity of manifesting in the world, of bringing forward my deeper longings.
To not only listen to my desires, but also take initiative to bring them into form.
A new road has opened. I'm curious.
The wish to paint ever more freely from the inside is still here and leads to experimenting with new ways.
I made this painting during a Moon Magic course with Michal Shamoni.
The substrate was made rough with pumice stone gel and glass bead gel.
The woman is the connection between light and dark and between the right hand and the left.
It is a warm painting.