As my life deepens I have fewer words available, so painting is now the way for me to express my inner nature.
I feel a blazing fire inside that wants to create and I would love to have more time and space to do so.
It is the fire of my soul that seeks to manifest in color and shape.
My paintings are a reflection of this inner flame and I do hope that this ongoing process will help me to find words as well.
The painting process guides me to reveal unknown parts that are waiting to show themselves.
My teacher is Shiloh McCloud. She teaches a method that offers the structure for colors to find a form and for my inner self to make herself known.
The method is symbolic. The forms do not pretend to represent an exact copy of reality, they hint towards a truth that is far greater.
I love the paradox and the tension that exists between the containment of the silence I feel inside myself and the freedom of wild streaks with the paint brush.
I love to vacillate between the creation of formless colors that provide the space for meaningful shapes to arise from the subconscious and, after recognizing them, painting them on the canvas in a stylized form.
The strain between the expected outcome and the image that is shown on the canvas sometimes is great, so I often have to find a way to proceed with my inner critic.
Painting signifies a process of transformation for me that takes place when all these ingredients intermingle.
They lead towards a unique representation and a deeper insight.
The first strokes and layers on the canvas are very free and give me a surprising view that invites me to listen deeper, in order to understand what is waiting to show itself.
Several layers of acrylic paint lead towards a painting in which the history of the earlier layers of paint shines through.
They leave a glow that creates greater depth and dimensionality.
Painting means both the joy of creating while playing with paint and the deeper aspect of silencing the mind and listening into what wants to be expressed.
My work is being informed by the same desire that made me study to be a psychotherapist and to write books.
This has to do with a deep longing to create and to discover a meaningful life, both for myself and for others, and to find the tools that resonate with my deeper being.
The emotional point of view of my work has to with transcending and including hidden parts of myself and to alchemize them into the totality of my being with rich texture, colors and forms.
May my work convey a sense of the sacred and guide us into deeper aspects of ourselves.
Eventually I would like to teach the method to others.
My Muse painting depicts a nomad with few possessions.
The true teaching of my Muse came when a golden necklace was taken away in my hotel room in Sedona.
I knew exactly where I had put it: in a little bag in which I also keep the charging cables for my Iphone and Ipad.
I was sure the goddess of poverty was tricking me.
I reported to the reception desk of the hotel while at the same time learning my lesson that the feeling of abundance does not have to do with material possessions and that I am free to choose whether I enter fear or remain in the feeling of abundance in my heart.
Half a day later the little bag with the necklace was returned to me.
The lesson about my choice between fear and freedom keeps spreading and opens other doors.
She who goes with the wind © Joos
Lately I have been studying the goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of abundance and prosperity.
My interest in her has to do with the fact that I want to teach this method of painting to others and the focus of the workshops will be on feminine wellbeing.
That is why I was surprised when a nomad appeared on the canvas.
I had a difficult time accommodating to the way she showed herself, with her piercing eyes and a mouth that would hardly smile.
She teaches me that feelings of abundance are not dependent on material possessions and she calls herself the goddess of poverty.
Once I started accepting her it became easier to continue painting.
I started to enjoy the way she was.
Enjoying is a quality of the goddess Lakshmi and this way I have come back where I started.