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Joos's journal



When we live a new power, a new intent, those parts of us that are not in alignment with this will arise in ourselves.
We doubt the truth of our effort, we doubt the possibility of being able to do the job, we become afraid, we tell ourselves we are much too vulnerable when we express ourselves as a person with a certain power.
This happened to me after I had written the previous message in my diary, the one about writing and painting.
The fears and doubts are the watchdogs at the entrance towards a deeper level in myself.
They are so real that I do not even trust that I will get past them.
Yet I confide and let go, because there is also a sadness in me when I don’t release.
Maybe writing about this is the humanness that wants to reveal herself.


Writing and painting

I feel the desire to write and to paint in a heartwarming way, even though I do not yet know the content of what I want to express.
There is an atmosphere of subtlety and warm earthliness around this.
The type of warmth people enjoy when they love their pet.
A warmth that makes you purr, or softly roar.
It is exciting not to know beforehand what will be the theme of my writing.
I have to make time and space for this if I want to give birth to something new.
I intend to make room for my writing and painting.



The number 11

Of all numbers, 11 is the number that strikes me most.
This month I see it even more often because it is November and my computer shows the figure 11 every day.
But also when I watch the indicators on the dashboard of my car, the number 11 stands out a lot.
In such a case the car is using 11 liters of gasoline per 100 kilometers, or I have been driving for 11 minutes, or it is 11 past 11.
Or the temperature outside is 11 degrees.
For me the number 11 means how important it is to cherish my playfulness and sense of humor.
In the Tzolkin Chuen, Blue monkey, is the 11th sun glyph and represents the innocence and the playfulness in ourselves.
It is the dissonant that puts a spoke in our wheels, after which we can move forward with renewed strength.
In a culture that invites us so often to enter a state of disapproval and condemnation, because of the terrible things that happen, we can free ourselves from the suction power of negativity by reminding ourselves of the lightness and the luminosity of our being.